building self-esteem
Building your self-esteem is essential for confidence and success, and it all begins with you. Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful. How you value yourself colors everything around you, it alters your perception of the world and your circumstances and can hinder your enjoyment in life.
Self-esteem has a strong relation to happiness. Low self-esteem is likely to lead to depression and anxiety.
Self-esteem has a strong relation to happiness. Low self-esteem is likely to lead to depression and anxiety.
What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is the way we think and feel about ourselves. It is the way we value ourselves, personally, with family and friends and in the workplace. High self-esteem is important for everyone — young and old.
Self-esteem is the way we think and feel about ourselves. It is the way we value ourselves, personally, with family and friends and in the workplace. High self-esteem is important for everyone — young and old.
Do you believe in yourself? Do you give yourself the credit you deserve? Self-esteem is an integral part of personal happiness, fulfilling relationships and achievement.
Here are some characteristics of High and Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem may:
People with high self-esteem may:
Rejection or loss at any age is likely to undermine self-esteem. Events like parents separating, a partner being unfaithful, being ostracised by friends or picked on by peers, dealing with an unsuccessful application, having an accident, a burglary, or coping with a death are likely to provoke feelings of loss and threat. For some this is temporary, while for others the effects are long-lasting.
What are the benefits of high self-esteem?
It is believed that people with a high self-esteem feel good about themselves, they are able to cope more effectively with challenges and negative feedback, and they live in a social world in which they believe that people value and respect them.
How you value yourself colors everything around you, it alters your perception of the world and your circumstances and can hinder your enjoyment in life.
A very valuable and recognized self-esteem test is the Rosenberg's Self-Esteem scale. You can take it here for free.
This isn’t a validated test to measure your self-esteem. However, a high score is a good indicator that you are under stress, and often times that stress comes from our own feelings of inadequacy in various situations. If these conditions persist, consult your doctor.
The most important outcome in terms of self-esteem or its lack will be a greater awareness of what your low-self-esteem is costing you.
The role of Anxiety in self-esteem
Low self-esteem can go hand in hand with depression, fear and anxiety. If a person's view of themselves is negative, they go through life with fear and anxiety, feel that they must be on guard, expecting the worst and can never really relax. This can lead to a constant feeling of anxiety which is exhausting and can negatively impact every area of their life. The fear can include; doing something that will reveal or confirm their own inadequacy to themselves and to others; losing what they have including career/money or relationships. If you want to get an indication of your level of Anxiety, you can take a free test here.
Understanding and coping with Anxiety
Here are some characteristics of High and Low Self-Esteem
People with low self-esteem may:
- Avoid new and unfamiliar experiences and situations;
- Put down their own abilities;
- Blame others for their own mistakes;
- Be easily influenced by others;
- Become easily frustrated;
- Be defensive and easily hurt by criticism;
- Continually wish to change their appearance; and
- Not participate in group discussions.
People with high self-esteem may:
- Approach new situations and challenges eagerly;
- Be proud of their abilities and achievements;
- Learn from their own mistakes;
- Accept helpful criticism; and
- Be confident about their appearance.
Rejection or loss at any age is likely to undermine self-esteem. Events like parents separating, a partner being unfaithful, being ostracised by friends or picked on by peers, dealing with an unsuccessful application, having an accident, a burglary, or coping with a death are likely to provoke feelings of loss and threat. For some this is temporary, while for others the effects are long-lasting.
What are the benefits of high self-esteem?
It is believed that people with a high self-esteem feel good about themselves, they are able to cope more effectively with challenges and negative feedback, and they live in a social world in which they believe that people value and respect them.
How you value yourself colors everything around you, it alters your perception of the world and your circumstances and can hinder your enjoyment in life.
A very valuable and recognized self-esteem test is the Rosenberg's Self-Esteem scale. You can take it here for free.
This isn’t a validated test to measure your self-esteem. However, a high score is a good indicator that you are under stress, and often times that stress comes from our own feelings of inadequacy in various situations. If these conditions persist, consult your doctor.
The most important outcome in terms of self-esteem or its lack will be a greater awareness of what your low-self-esteem is costing you.
The role of Anxiety in self-esteem
Low self-esteem can go hand in hand with depression, fear and anxiety. If a person's view of themselves is negative, they go through life with fear and anxiety, feel that they must be on guard, expecting the worst and can never really relax. This can lead to a constant feeling of anxiety which is exhausting and can negatively impact every area of their life. The fear can include; doing something that will reveal or confirm their own inadequacy to themselves and to others; losing what they have including career/money or relationships. If you want to get an indication of your level of Anxiety, you can take a free test here.
Understanding and coping with Anxiety
strategies for building self-esteem
We have already established that self-esteem can be defined as the value that we place on ourselves.
If you look at it that way, we should be full of confidence and have a high esteem of ourselves! The reality however, is that the majority of people have issues with their self-esteem. Some are just better at disguising it than others. Sometimes people hide their low self-esteem by displaying defensive behaviour, such as being arrogant, or rude.
The important thing to remember is that it is normal to have self-esteem issues, but we owe it to ourselves to increase the value that we place on ourselves.
Building your self-esteem is essential for confidence and success, and it all begins with you. Of all the judgments you make it life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful. Today you will discover some simple techniques that dramatically change how you feel about yourself.
Remember: Self-esteem is an opinion not a fact. The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound effect on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences in the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society. Self-esteem involves our ability to think, to deal with life and to be happy.
If you look at it that way, we should be full of confidence and have a high esteem of ourselves! The reality however, is that the majority of people have issues with their self-esteem. Some are just better at disguising it than others. Sometimes people hide their low self-esteem by displaying defensive behaviour, such as being arrogant, or rude.
The important thing to remember is that it is normal to have self-esteem issues, but we owe it to ourselves to increase the value that we place on ourselves.
Building your self-esteem is essential for confidence and success, and it all begins with you. Of all the judgments you make it life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful. Today you will discover some simple techniques that dramatically change how you feel about yourself.
Remember: Self-esteem is an opinion not a fact. The way we view and feel about ourselves has a profound effect on how we live our lives. These opinions are shaped by experiences in the family, at school, from friendships and in wider society. Self-esteem involves our ability to think, to deal with life and to be happy.
Our self-esteem will continually fluctuate and is affected by events and encounters with other people. We are also constantly judging and evaluating ourselves, often in comparison with others. Observing ourselves in relation to other people can be a helpful source of learning and feedback. Yet all too often comparison slips into competition and others become a yardstick by which we evaluate ourselves as good or bad, competent or inadequate.
The reality is we are all different. Each of us has strengths and limitations which we need to learn about and learn to live with. There are aspects of our behavior and appearance we may seek to change or develop, but a sense of self is also based on self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Suggestions for increasing self-esteem
Realize that high self-esteem does not mean that we are arrogant, conceited, or insensitive. Actually as discussed before, these traits are more commonly found in people with low self-esteem because they must build themselves up, even at other people's expense.
Nor does it mean we never have self-doubts. It is probably impossible to go through life without doubting ourselves sometimes. High self-esteem doesn't protect us from negative thoughts, but we can have self-doubts without being devastated by them.
Behavior, both verbal and visual, is all about communication. Remember, your behavior will affect other people and how they think of you. Because your behavior is so visible, it is inevitable that other people's judgment of you will be based on that. People will like or dislike you, trust or distrust you, based on their judgments of your behavior. They may not be right, of course, because people easily jump to conclusions. But the fact remains that they will judge you on behavior because they have nothing else on which to base their opinions.
Behavior isn't an automatic reflex, like breathing. You had to learn how to behave with others, and there is nothing to stop you from unlearning and replacing those behaviors if you think they are unproductive.
Change is not easy. It means stepping into the unknown and taking a risk. Inevitably this means that some initiatives will work well while others don't work out as you hoped. You can help yourself by being realistic in your choices and seeing each success as a step in the right direction.
Remember that small changes add up. Call on other people to help you by being encouraging, taking an interest, giving feedback, and making suggestions.
Do things for pleasure, for fun
The reality is we are all different. Each of us has strengths and limitations which we need to learn about and learn to live with. There are aspects of our behavior and appearance we may seek to change or develop, but a sense of self is also based on self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Suggestions for increasing self-esteem
Realize that high self-esteem does not mean that we are arrogant, conceited, or insensitive. Actually as discussed before, these traits are more commonly found in people with low self-esteem because they must build themselves up, even at other people's expense.
Nor does it mean we never have self-doubts. It is probably impossible to go through life without doubting ourselves sometimes. High self-esteem doesn't protect us from negative thoughts, but we can have self-doubts without being devastated by them.
Behavior, both verbal and visual, is all about communication. Remember, your behavior will affect other people and how they think of you. Because your behavior is so visible, it is inevitable that other people's judgment of you will be based on that. People will like or dislike you, trust or distrust you, based on their judgments of your behavior. They may not be right, of course, because people easily jump to conclusions. But the fact remains that they will judge you on behavior because they have nothing else on which to base their opinions.
Behavior isn't an automatic reflex, like breathing. You had to learn how to behave with others, and there is nothing to stop you from unlearning and replacing those behaviors if you think they are unproductive.
Change is not easy. It means stepping into the unknown and taking a risk. Inevitably this means that some initiatives will work well while others don't work out as you hoped. You can help yourself by being realistic in your choices and seeing each success as a step in the right direction.
Remember that small changes add up. Call on other people to help you by being encouraging, taking an interest, giving feedback, and making suggestions.
Do things for pleasure, for fun
- Think about ways you enjoy yourself. Put effort into making life pleasurable and satisfying. Arrange to be in situations which are playful and make you laugh.
- Learn something new. Maybe something you have always wanted to try, even something you never thought you could do. If you are stuck for ideas look on notice boards and in local publications, observe or ask other people, think about what you have enjoyed in the past.
- Eating regularly, thinking about the sort of food you eat, and making sure you try to get the amount of sleep you need.
- Exercise and toning muscles can give confidence and help you to feel good about your body. Pay attention to how you stand and walk. Think tall.
- Pay more attention to your appearance. Pamper yourself. Choose a new hairstyle or colour in clothing. Buy a magazine which gives advice on personal presentation.
- Reward yourself in other ways. What about giving yourself one day off from work a week? Buy yourself a little treat. Do something you particularly enjoy but don't often get round to.
- We do not like other people saying nasty things about us so why say them to yourself? Listen to how you treat yourself - the internal conversation. Low self-esteem makes it difficult to identify strong points but it does not mean you do not have them - only that they are unfamiliar to you.
- Avoid as much as possible situations and people that leave you feeling bad about yourself and spend more time concentrating on experiences which are likely to be successful and rewarding.
- Can you bear to be ordinary? Are you continually expecting more of yourself than you do of others? If you accept the troubles, mistakes and variability of other people, how about being happy with "good enough" in relation to yourself?
- Involve others. Ask for support, feed-back, affection. Be prepared to say you don't know. Talk about yourself. Do not pretend or hide. Take care not to push other people away through being negative about yourself.
- Join in with others. Do not assume you are not important; other people have an effect on you and you affect them. Most people are interested in making new friends, and friendships can begin at any time in life. Say hello; do not wait for other people to come to you. Smile. Be nice to others, volunteer, be helpful, pay compliments.
- It is no good waiting for others or circumstances to leave us feeling better about ourselves. So accept responsibility for your own actions: as we cannot make other people change, we need to make the changes ourselves.